


Shopping Horrors

by NobodyOfficial



Category: Little Shop of Horrors - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Josh Gad - Freeform, Shopping, again with ma dudes, and, bc WHY NOT?, rebel wilson - Freeform, supportive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 16:17:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12963339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyOfficial/pseuds/NobodyOfficial
Summary: Audrey fulfils her promise to take Seymour shopping for more fashionable clothes.





	Shopping Horrors

**Author's Note:**

> I got an awesome request on tumblr and this is the the result. Sorry for the writing style, I just couldn't get it for this fic.

Mannequins were made to look classically beautiful. Their cinched waists, overstuffed busts, and long legs were clearly designed to make the clothes they were modelling as appealing as possible. Seymour couldn't say he cared for them. Not a single mannequin looked even half as good as Audrey.

She pulled him along by the hand, voice high and bubbly as she gushed about the latest trends and what would look good on Seymour. Her list was endless: checks, tweed, a suit, a trilby, suspenders with a patterned tie and a light shirt and- Seymour smiled. Nowhere on Audrey's list was ‘frumpy sweater vest’ or ‘old anorak’ or ‘khaki pants,’ some of Seymour's favourite items of clothing, but she was so ecstatic he couldn't deny her anything. For Audrey he would adorn himself with colours and trinkets and let her laugh until she was doubled over because anything that made her smile certainly made Seymour happy.

“Come in here! Come in here!” Audrey pulled a little harder on his hand and dragged him into the nearest store. She paused at the store front, gazing out at the rows of colourful skirts and lavishly dressed mannequins and and posters that lied about how much you really needed their product. “Oh my gosh,” she gasped. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! Come on!” Seymour was hauled over into the mens’ section.

Audrey stood him up straight, pushed his shoulders back, and tilted his chin up, then scrutinised him closely. Had it been anyone else stood in front of him Seymour would've felt incredibly exposed, but he was comfortable with Audrey. When she looked at him she saw a million possibilities for a fashion magazine, not a clumsy horticulturalist.

“Hmm.” She narrowed her eyes, deep in thought, then whipped round and plucked a grey jacket from the rack. “Put this on!”

Seymour didn't think he'd owned a jacket in his life. He slipped it on, immediately feeling it constrict his broad shoulders, and straightened it out to appease Audrey. “Well?”

Her eyes were wide, mouth fixed in a brilliant grin. “It's perfect, it’s incredible, you look amazing!” She gushed. Seymour glanced down at he floor. “Put this one on though.” Audrey handed him an identical jacket.

Seymour obliged, awkwardly untangling himself from the other jacket. “The other one fit just fine though.” This one was a lot more comfortable around his shoulders, more appropriate for reaching shelves.

“I know.” Audrey gently squished his cheeks together. “But I'm good at cooking, so you're gonna get chubby.”

“Hey!” Seymour laughed and waved her hands away. “That's ok. But I'm chubby anyway.”

“That's ok. I'm gonna make good food anyway.” She caressed the jacket collar. “This one’s pretty- oh my gosh!” Audrey was looking over Seymour’s shoulder, mouth agape. He tried to turn but her grip was so tight on his lapel that he couldn't turn his shoulders. “Oh my gosh look at these!” Then Audrey was gone and Seymour was left alone with the fancy, grey jacket. He removed it and hung it back on the rack, while Audrey was distracted. He'd never wear that.

Audrey was bouncing excitedly in front of a bright display. “Christmas sweaters!” She exclaimed excitedly when Seymour caught up with her.

“But Audrey, we don't even celebrate-“ Seymour started.

“Hanukkah sweaters!” She lurched to the side, grasping an ugly blue sweater with a menorah stitched on the front. “We need these!”

“I don't think we do,” Seymour chuckled.

“We do,” Audrey said seriously. “Here, put it on!” The sweater was deposited on his face as Audrey inspected the rest of the shelves. “Oh! And this!” The moment Seymour’s head surfaced from the sweater he had a hat pulled firmly down over his eyes. “And this and this!” She hung a few more items of clothing on Seymour, then stepped back to admire her handiwork. “Very nice, very nice.” Her eyebrows were knitted together in concentration. “Take a look.”

Shuffling his feet (he always felt the need to do that when wearing a puffy jacket), Seymour peered into a mirror. He instantly had the urge to look away. “I, umm, I look like Christmas and Hanukkah had a child.” His curls were covered in a Christmas pudding-shaped hat, topped with a tiny sprig of holly. A cart patterned with dreidels all but obscured the menorah sweater, which now found itself underneath a puffy, red and white vest.

“I know. It's awesome!” Audrey beamed. Seymour tried to muster some enthusiasm, but all he felt was hot. “Yeah, ok,” Audrey laughed. “It's awful. Come on, I'll pick you out some real clothes.”

Muted colours were in fashion. So were bright, garish cardigans. Hats were both well respected business wear and social suicide. Chinos were permitted, but only as casual wear. Lapels were thin. Suits were single breasted. Loafers were in, black was out, suits should have two buttons-

It was too much for Seymour. His head swam as Audrey loaded him up with all the fashion trends of the decade, and piled clothes in his arms that he couldn't see himself wearing. Her knowledge of fashion was, of course, impeccable, but Seymour was unsure if those were the right clothes for him. He'd had the same sweater vest since he was eighteen and lord knew he needed a new one but he'd got attached to it. The softness of the fabric and the familiar feel of it pinching around his shoulders had become almost comforting.

“Ok.” Audrey paused, hands on her hips as she admired the tower of clothes that weighed Seymour down. “That's probably enough, you should try them o-“ She froze, eyes locked in a dead stare over Seymour’s shoulder. He whipped round immediately, but saw nothing distressing.

“Audrey-“ he peered over the racks of clothes, “what's wrong?”

“Seymour.” She clung to his shoulder. “That is the prettiest dress I have ever seen in my entire life.”

Seymour sighed in relief. He could deal with a pretty dress. “Which one?” They looked identical to him.

“That one.” It was hideous. Cream with yellow polka dots. A thick, white collar almost like a polo neck. Horribly shapeless. But there was something about the way Audrey's eyes lit up and her voice went high and her hand gripped his shirt tightly that made him think maybe it wasn't so bad at all. He glanced sideways at Audrey. She looked radiant. Maybe it was pretty great, if it could make Audrey so happy.

“Well, you should go buy it then,” Seymour said encouragingly. Then, softly, blushing, “I think you'd look amazing.”

Audrey shrugged slightly, turning her gaze to the floor. “Nah. Nah, it's ok.” She brightened and looked up at Seymour. “Anyway, we’re here for you! Go on, try those on. And show me everything!”

“Oh, umm, I guess.” He bundled all the clothes into a changing room bench, eyes lingering on Audrey's grinning face as he pulled the curtain closed.

There were far too many mirrors for such a small space, every way Seymour turned he caught sight of his crooked glasses and thick curls. He focused on the clothes Audrey had picked, stripping off his warm shirt and vest to exchange them for a blue, starched number. It clashed horribly with his brown pants and wasn't too accepting of his wide arms. He pulled a face in the mirror; he looked like an office worker.

Opening the curtain, Seymour tried to look a little more enthused. His shoulders slumped involuntarily. “Well…”

“Oh, it looks wonderful with your pants!” Audrey gushed. “And your arms look wonderful…” She placed a hand on Seymour biceps, then blushed and pulled it back to her chest. “But you look sort of…” A pause. Seymour prepared for an unflattering comment. “Uncomfortable?” Audrey ran her eyes over him and he squirmed.

“Yea, it, it doesn't feel great,” Seymour admitted.

Audrey sighed. “You know what? I think I've done this all wrong. These clothes are fashionable but they're just not right for you.” She scooped all the clothes off the bench. “Give me five minutes and I'll be back with a whole new style. Don't wander off,” she called over her shoulder.

Seymour waited until she'd vanished behind a rack of clothes before he wandered off.

~

The sweater was warm and comfortable. Colourful but plain. The shirt underneath was shapeless, potentially ugly, but well hidden beneath the sweater. Instead it made the outfit seem smart, the collar sitting around the sweater’s neck. Seymour smiled shyly at Audrey in the mirror.

“So?” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “Is that better?”

“I love it,” he replied, tucking his hands into his sleeves and wrapping his arms around himself. “It's really soft and comfy.”

“You're really soft and comfy.” Audrey hugged him tightly.

“Gee,” Seymour giggled, “Thanks.” He didn't mind being soft and comfy for Audrey. She'd had a hard life and he wanted to make everything gentle and muted from now on. Not that Audrey minded. She wanted to climb mountains and ride the city bus and adopt puppies. But the moment she got tired of dragging Seymour on wild adventures, the moment she thought about what life used to be like and wondered if that was what she really deserved, Seymour was ready with hot chocolate and sappy romantic movies and the calm and quietness that came with the suburbs.

“Now your fashion sense matches how hot your are,” Audrey said as she helped him pull the sweater over his head without knocking his glasses off. “But you have to let me choose your clothes for the rest of your life.”

“That's ok.” Seymour put the treasured sweater vest back on. He'd miss it, but his new wardrobe was a nice compromise between fashionable and comfortable.

On the way out Seymour struggled to clasp all his bags in one hand so he could take Audrey's hand in the other. She bounced along excitedly, unintentionally pulling Seymour along. “Ok, we can go ho-“

“Ice skating!” Audrey interrupted, speeding up slightly. “Or for hot chocolate! Oh! Let's get a snapping turtle-“

“A snapping turtle?”

“I don't know, they're really cool!” She was almost running now. Seymour didn't know how she did it in six inch heels. Audrey stopped suddenly and Seymour had to dig his heels in to stop himself crashing in to her. “Or, or, umm…” She looked at the floor. “We can do whatever you like.”

Seymour was tired. He didn't want to carry heavy bags around the city and he didn't want to catch the bus home in the dark. He wanted to go home and go to sleep. “Hot chocolate sounds really good. But no snapping turtles please.”

Audrey raised her gaze slightly, a smile beginning to play on her lips again. “Thanks, Seymour.”

She started down the street at a brisk walk, but Seymour tugged at her hand suddenly. “One more thing.” He rummaged in one of his bags and pulled out a wrapped package, holding it out to Audrey. “Here.” She started at him. “He-re.”

Audrey reached out tentatively. “Seymour, what-“

“Just open it,” he grinned, pressing the package into her hands.

Tenderly, shyly, Audrey undid the string and unfolded the paper wrapping. “Oh! Seymour I, I, aaah…”

“I already know you like it,” he smiled, watching Audrey clasp the polka dot dress to her chest. “Who's got a good fashion sense now?”

“Still me,” Audrey whispered, her eyes misting up with tears. “Oh Seymour, thank you.” She threw herself at him, grasping handfuls of his sweater vest. “Thank you thank you thank you!”

“It's ok, don't worry.” Seymour stroked her hair gently. It was so soft. He'd spent a good few years of his life day dreaming about stroking her hair. “Thanks for helping me pick out less dorky clothes. And for being the greatest girlfriend ever I love you.” He garbled the last part, trying not to sound too sincere. Of course he'd fantasises about telling Audrey he loved her a million times over, but it was a lot more real now. She was actually present for him saying it, for a start.

“Oh my-“ Audrey leaned back, giving Seymour a teary grin. “Oh Seymour, I love you too. You're the best! I love you!”

Seymour rested his head on Audrey's shoulder and allowed the light feeling to spread through his chest. All he'd ever wanted was to make Audrey happy and right now he thought he was pretty damn successful.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. That was bad.
> 
> My tumblr, in case you wanna read more bad stuff: everyonewholovesmehasdied 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


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